Dude! T-shirts!

2012-01-30T11:46:00.001-08:00

feelin like a vegetarian cuz I forgot my chicken!

2012-01-30T09:15:00.001-08:00

Some good milk right there!

2012-01-30T07:20:00.001-08:00

Meat is nothing to be afraid of

2012-01-30T07:19:00.001-08:00

Without the love, it's just a ball of meat

2012-01-27T17:03:00.001-08:00

They have Ace in the hole nice mattress.

2012-01-26T09:09:00.001-08:00

We talked about how you don't get hooked on nitro...

2012-01-26T08:56:00.001-08:00

She didn't die, she left.

2012-01-24T11:48:00.001-08:00

I need to smell nice now!

2012-01-24T09:07:00.001-08:00

You're talkin' to the Post-It Queen!

2012-01-20T11:54:00.000-08:00

I am Jeff

2012-01-19T13:08:00.001-08:00

WE are on the death bed. HE is on the death couch.

2012-01-19T09:41:00.001-08:00

She's kind of gray-pale

2012-01-19T08:50:00.001-08:00

His legs feel really noodley.

2012-01-19T05:15:00.001-08:00

I just thought it would be fun to lactate...

2012-01-18T11:22:00.001-08:00

I thought I told you to give up on finding Sasquatch!

2012-01-15T13:01:00.001-08:00

I make good nuts!

2012-01-12T09:17:00.001-08:00

It's the perfect storm of stupid.

2012-01-12T08:43:00.001-08:00

His bowels are firing blanks.

2012-01-12T08:35:00.001-08:00

She turns purple and then she turns white.

2012-01-12T08:25:00.001-08:00

Think about her puff compared to most other people's puff.

2012-01-11T18:41:00.001-08:00

Pupusa coma...

2012-01-11T07:59:00.001-08:00

I am now. I sync last night.

2012-01-10T16:31:00.001-08:00

In hospice every day is friday the 13th.

2012-01-06T11:06:00.001-08:00

Just a minute, I can't do three things twice!

2012-01-05T19:46:00.001-08:00

Is that "Ed" from "Ed and Ed"?

2012-01-05T14:54:00.001-08:00

I want to keep it moist but I don't want it sloppy.

2012-01-05T12:21:00.001-08:00

I don't like the smell of your cheese!

2012-01-05T09:35:00.001-08:00

It was more of a "clomp, clomp, clomp", rather than a "gliiiiiiiide"

I'm not sure what that means...

2012-01-04T09:10:00.001-08:00

Can I get a barf bucket?

2012-01-04T08:17:00.000-08:00

I don't know if he has a history of depression or being in the military but he is a Methodist.

2012-01-03T07:27:00.001-08:00

Burial. Slow to respond.

2011-12-29T17:58:00.001-08:00

Well, I'll get out of your way. I guess you've got a juggler to bury...

2011-12-28T16:42:00.001-08:00

I don't want to feel like I have to be so dependent on clothes!

2011-12-28T13:37:00.001-08:00

Oh, that's why it was wet...it was in the apple juice...

2011-12-24T13:38:00.001-08:00

I didn't get your clink.

2011-12-23T16:34:00.001-08:00

Did you just call your boss a dufus?

2011-12-23T10:15:00.001-08:00

If I can balance the coffee and wine correctly this year, it will be an awesome holiday!

2011-12-22T10:50:00.001-08:00

This is hospice; we don't "fix".

2011-12-22T09:37:00.001-08:00

He wants to look at you more than he wants to look at me!

2011-12-22T09:18:00.001-08:00

She actually had ankles yesterday.

2011-12-22T09:08:00.003-08:00

She has the best handwriting of any little old dying lady that I've ever seen!

2011-12-22T09:08:00.001-08:00

You're on the way to everywhere...

2011-12-22T08:43:00.001-08:00

It's just a hiccup!!!

2011-12-22T08:35:00.001-08:00

It looks so pretty...but I feel like a trout!

2011-12-21T10:01:00.001-08:00

My mistake, my hands are faster than my head!

2011-12-21T08:07:00.001-08:00

Rick is work full day.

2011-12-20T16:11:00.001-08:00

I feel like we're on a merry-go-round

...only it ain't that merry...

2011-12-20T09:37:00.001-08:00

Woops speaking for my self again.

2011-12-20T09:27:00.001-08:00

I'm bringin' a partridge.
I'm thinking Danny, that little rascal!

2011-12-19T11:01:00.001-08:00

I hate when I get punked like that!

(And I love snopes)

2011-12-19T06:41:00.001-08:00

Almost Visited Uncle Pukie.

2011-12-16T15:53:00.001-08:00

Wow. I actually just started to look for the "like" button.

I think I need to go home.

2011-12-16T10:24:00.001-08:00

How many more times do we have to hear about "creamy and stinky"?

2011-12-16T08:38:00.001-08:00

My dog will be confused to go for a walk in the daylight!

2011-12-15T10:52:00.001-08:00

Toodled?!?!?!?

I want to stab you with a knife!

2011-12-15T10:45:00.001-08:00

I gave him marching orders to get his tush to the doctor!

2011-12-15T10:41:00.001-08:00

Damn, I wish we had dipsticks.

2011-12-15T10:37:00.001-08:00

Flowers are better than eternal life.

2011-12-15T09:56:00.001-08:00

He's got a big TV, and a cat, so...

2011-12-15T09:31:00.001-08:00

I don't think her light is completely bright.

2011-12-15T09:24:00.001-08:00

She needs to have her MI and die.

2011-12-15T09:19:00.001-08:00

We gave her a chance to get worse and she didn't.

2011-12-15T09:07:00.001-08:00

I wish I had someone to give you!

2011-12-15T08:54:00.001-08:00

Anyone here want to drown?

2011-12-13T09:09:00.001-08:00

Look for green highlights.

2011-12-12T14:40:00.001-08:00

address sans stafford is fine!

2011-12-12T08:14:00.001-08:00

I can only speculate at this time

2011-12-11T11:47:00.001-08:00

I do a lot of business in my head at night.

2011-12-08T10:11:00.000-08:00

She walks OK...she doesn't bend so well.

2011-12-08T10:00:00.001-08:00

It's like a hunting lodge on steroids!

2011-12-07T09:24:00.001-08:00

LOL (on the inside)

2011-12-06T09:42:00.001-08:00

Mayhaps you should BB their BB?

2011-12-02T11:20:00.001-08:00

I felt a little regret right after I pressed the send button.

2011-12-02T09:13:00.001-08:00

Oops! I just had a cheese-gasm.

2011-12-01T10:44:00.001-08:00

They weren't hoarders.

They were just not put-it-away-ers.

2011-12-01T10:16:00.001-08:00

This is our Kumbaya moment.

2011-12-01T09:37:00.001-08:00

We aim to do one thing a day right.

2011-12-01T09:08:00.001-08:00

Oh, crud. It's tuesday.....

2011-12-01T09:05:00.001-08:00

If I'm not going to die, I may as well do something.

2011-12-01T08:47:00.001-08:00

The socks are for your feet.

2011-12-01T08:39:00.001-08:00

I feel paranoid today.

2011-12-01T08:33:00.001-08:00

I'm exfoliating today!

2011-11-30T06:31:00.001-08:00

I must be a ninja, 'cause automatic flush toilets never seem to sense my presence.

2011-11-29T21:32:00.001-08:00

Hug. Kiss. Lick.
EWW! Fling! Wack!

2011-11-29T12:15:00.001-08:00

I looked like a sweating clown!

2011-11-25T11:36:00.001-08:00

I think I'm pretty cheesed up for awhile...

2011-11-24T16:55:00.001-08:00

I think we all want some of something.

2011-11-24T15:37:00.001-08:00

I'm against the beach.

2011-11-24T15:23:00.001-08:00

I need to be near salad...

2011-11-23T10:15:00.003-08:00

I've seen Scott raise the bar.....

2011-11-23T10:15:00.001-08:00

No pain, no brain.

2011-11-23T10:07:00.001-08:00

Are you done?

2011-11-23T10:01:00.001-08:00

I'm bawling to Dvorak.

2011-11-23T09:48:00.001-08:00

I came sweeping in, in my little red Subaru.

2011-11-23T08:31:00.001-08:00

In my head I was supposed to bake...but I didn't.

2011-11-23T08:13:00.001-08:00

It's not over until the metabolically challenged woman sings.

2011-11-22T18:37:00.001-08:00

Man, the bruise on my butt is a FRIGHTENING thing to see!

2011-11-21T14:00:00.001-08:00

Eat, sleep, travel and work makes this old broad dull and boring.

2011-11-20T13:06:00.000-08:00

My boobs might not be much, but I like them. They're attached to me.

2011-11-18T21:51:00.001-08:00

Payday is cheese day!!!