Saturday, February 27, 2021

Saturday, February 20, 2021

You can't change a chicken.
If you're going to use a wombat, you need to have the right gear ratio.

Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Friday, November 13, 2020

Sunday, October 4, 2020

No matter how mad you are,
you can't stop someone
from buying bananas.

Not really. 

Not if they keep trying. 

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Maybe I can find some more variety... sad the camel moved. Not for the camel but for me.  

Friday, March 27, 2020

Friday, February 21, 2020

Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Friday, June 28, 2019

Glenfiddich: it's like Fresca...with a penis in it.

Thursday, June 27, 2019

Sunday, June 23, 2019

I cried because I didn't get an Angry Birds pen.

Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Thursday, January 10, 2019

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Friday, November 23, 2018

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Friday, November 16, 2018

I got slapped in the face twice, and I only got two cheeks!

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

Saturday, October 27, 2018

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

She doesn't smell bad, she just smells like cheese!

Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Friday, August 10, 2018

I am happy to report that there were no maggots visible today.

Wednesday, August 8, 2018

Wednesday, August 1, 2018

You're not the boss of me!!!

And neither are your cooties!!!

Friday, May 11, 2018

I got about as many problems as a Billy goat with seven horns!

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Thursday, March 1, 2018

Trying to get someone decent to work on your teeth is like trying to get a fart out of a corpse!
He doesn't have enough sense to pour pee out of a boot!
Ensure: It  doesn't even stop to change color on the way out!

Saturday, January 20, 2018

She's a strange cat.

But I think she's getting a little less strange.

Thursday, December 28, 2017

I lost weight in my butt. I don't want to lose weight in my butt!

Friday, December 15, 2017

Sunday, November 19, 2017

I promise not to pee in your coffee.

This time.

Monday, November 13, 2017

We're not good listeners, but we love long stories.

Saturday, November 11, 2017

I don't tend to go out into the middle of nowhere very often.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Tuesday, October 24, 2017

If you share you butt's contents, you have to share your butt!

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Thursday, June 15, 2017

I'm a brief aficionado. I'll tell him what's up!

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Friday, April 21, 2017