I'm a wad of humanity that doesn't always know what she's doing!

I'm on the dark end of 'pasty'

It's not assault if it's a door handle

Mommy churning in a buttery hell

You can go square dancing,

Or you can go to hell.

Nobody likes a skinny third nipple

You can't change a chicken.

If you're going to use a wombat, you need to have the right gear ratio.

The Buddhism makes it spicy

I'm very new to mushrooms. 

No matter how mad you are,

you can't stop someone

from buying bananas.

Not really. 

Not if they keep trying. 

Maybe I can find some more variety... sad the camel moved. Not for the camel but for me.  

The catalyst is ear wax, I think.

Nothing says "Love!" like a toilet!

I've never been this old before!

My body doesn't always tell the truth.

Your little periontitis is delicate.

You have to take good care of it!

Glenfiddich: it's like Fresca...with a penis in it.

I forget where people put their dots.

I cried because I didn't get an Angry Birds pen.

Grandpa's willing to try debauchery

It's hard to take a small bite of a big taco.

Did I tell you about the pigs?

We're definitely darkening

I feel slumpy when I'm slumpy

I got slapped in the face twice, and I only got two cheeks!

There's nothing worse than greasy astroturf!

I don't think there's as many Jeff's today.

She cussed, but she's clean!

She doesn't smell bad, she just smells like cheese!

I don't know anything about tar!

I am happy to report that there were no maggots visible today.

Oh, his wounds have all sorts of things!

You're not the boss of me!!!

And neither are your cooties!!!

I got about as many problems as a Billy goat with seven horns!

Her bottom was a little radish.

Trying to get someone decent to work on your teeth is like trying to get a fart out of a corpse!

He doesn't have enough sense to pour pee out of a boot!

Ensure: It  doesn't even stop to change color on the way out!

She's a strange cat.

But I think she's getting a little less strange.

I lost weight in my butt. I don't want to lose weight in my butt!

Tuna is an issue in our family.

I promise not to pee in your coffee.


This time.

We're not good listeners, but we love long stories.

I don't tend to go out into the middle of nowhere very often.

I love 'UNO' -- we get pretty raunchy!

If you share you butt's contents, you have to share your butt!

All my chunks are well-dispersed

I still eat wrinkled tomatoes

I'm erring on the side of:

"I don't want a squishy leaf"