Well, I'll get out of your way. I guess you've got a juggler to bury...

I don't want to feel like I have to be so dependent on clothes!

Oh, that's why it was wet...it was in the apple juice...

I didn't get your clink.

Did you just call your boss a dufus?

If I can balance the coffee and wine correctly this year, it will be an awesome holiday!

This is hospice; we don't "fix".

He wants to look at you more than he wants to look at me!

She actually had ankles yesterday.

She has the best handwriting of any little old dying lady that I've ever seen!

You're on the way to everywhere...

It's just a hiccup!!!

It looks so pretty...but I feel like a trout!

My mistake, my hands are faster than my head!

Rick is work full day.

I feel like we're on a merry-go-round

...only it ain't that merry...

Woops speaking for my self again.

I'm bringin' a partridge.
I'm thinking Danny, that little rascal!

I hate when I get punked like that!

(And I love snopes)

Almost Visited Uncle Pukie.

Wow. I actually just started to look for the "like" button.

 

I think I need to go home.

How many more times do we have to hear about "creamy and stinky"?

My dog will be confused to go for a walk in the daylight!

Toodled?!?!?!?

I want to stab you with a knife!

I gave him marching orders to get his tush to the doctor!

Damn, I wish we had dipsticks.

Flowers are better than eternal life.

He's got a big TV, and a cat, so...

I don't think her light is completely bright.

She needs to have her MI and die.

We gave her a chance to get worse and she didn't.

I wish I had someone to give you!

Anyone here want to drown?

Look for green highlights.

address sans stafford is fine!

I can only speculate at this time

I do a lot of business in my head at night.

She walks OK...she doesn't bend so well.

It's like a hunting lodge on steroids!

LOL (on the inside)

Mayhaps you should BB their BB?

I felt a little regret right after I pressed the send button.

Oops! I just had a cheese-gasm.

They weren't hoarders.

They were just not put-it-away-ers.

This is our Kumbaya moment.

We aim to do one thing a day right.

Oh, crud. It's tuesday.....

If I'm not going to die, I may as well do something.

The socks are for your feet.

I feel paranoid today.

I'm exfoliating today!

I must be a ninja, 'cause automatic flush toilets never seem to sense my presence.

Hug. Kiss. Lick.
EWW! Fling! Wack!

I looked like a sweating clown!

I think I'm pretty cheesed up for awhile...

I think we all want some of something.

I'm against the beach.

I need to be near salad...

I've seen Scott raise the bar.....

No pain, no brain.

Are you done?

I'm bawling to Dvorak.

I came sweeping in, in my little red Subaru.

In my head I was supposed to bake...but I didn't.

It's not over until the metabolically challenged woman sings.

Man, the bruise on my butt is a FRIGHTENING thing to see!

Eat, sleep, travel and work makes this old broad dull and boring.

My boobs might not be much, but I like them. They're attached to me.

Payday is cheese day!!!

I defer to Helen for ultimate clarity.

If I didn't have my nose issue I might be happier...

It's like talking to a chicken.

Ring the bell for Rick.

She sounds like a dishwasher.

And how many first born children does that cost?

I have to call the crab people!!!

I'm waiting for the Empire State Building lid to come on...

Today we will call my laptop "the tortoise".

I had to touch my bottom, then I could fly...

Why don't we just run him through the car wash?

Tell me he's awful.

Bonus back scratch.

You're like a seizure waiting to happen for me...

You can't get a bad piece of pizza at Pontillo's

I took a canning class...but I didn't can.

You're out of your zip code.

I have really hot ears.

Go to heaven with a good face? It isn't working.

It sounds like there's a freight train running through his nose.

He took his doorbell into the bathroom.

Stand by for movement!

I don't want to meet up with some psycho.

You stammer because you know I speak true.

I'm not a great wheelchair driver.

Today's a good tit day.

What fruit to you need to work on?

Don't ever let me die with a bra on!!!

I lost my HoJo mojo!

Reach? Sounds more like retch!

Sheila disappeared.

I still have to help her get her leg over the lip of the thing...

Kate was the small swarthy man's wife...

...or ex wife

...or some sort of wife!!

 

She didn't smoke cigars

Just when I think I've been everywhere, Quinaby Rd comes along and proves me wrong.

Think of the Internet!

Think of rockets!!!

He looks at it and drools but that's OK.

I threw MYSELF under the bus.

I didn't know you had that hat!

I'm good at "nothing".

I'm sorry I'm from California.

Every hunter with a scope is headed for Zanesville.

We don't make chicken jokes in Scio.

Bb won't type certin letters tod y. Th inks.

I wanted the Grand Poobah to weigh in.

I'm living without temporal borders and feeling confused.

That's a hell of a lot of Entocort!

She's got longevity in her jeans.

That's a brick on its side...

Am I just going to lay here and be incontinent?

Make that Blanch, not Beulah

There's some ugliness out there that's just not professional...

When I saw her, she was doing the half-eye thing.

Whatever you do, it will be better than nothing...

Is somebody Sonya?

I feel like we're a pimp service.

He's like a ripe peach.

I am so getting my duct tape out.

I'm a turtle…J...I'll let u know when complete..thx

Thanks so much for playing in the sandbox. I'm leaving now.

I liked your boop.

he said he is ready to die whenever, his only concern is moving

I laugh at clout.

Spanish eggs have an H

Sometimes I just don't like to squeeze the sponge

They do tattoos AND piercings; it's pretty much a one stop shop for self mutilation.

Send IT requests to IT please.

........we now return you to your regularly scheduled 4:55 PM mayhem.

I'm going to go whip myself.

They died. I didn't kill them.

She has a terminal tapeworm.

Tomorrow I will get him in the shower.

It's hard to know how bright the lights are.

The flowers I can arrange.
The bunnies are on you cowboy.

He's like the guy who gets hit by a meteor and thinks he's an astronaut.

...'cause obviously your mom wants to be involved in your life

Don't let a suitcase filled with cheese be your big fork and spoon.

Every five years I have a mid-life crisis.

I love the smell of crazy on a friday afternoon!

Sent from my mobile device...

The lights are on.....and she's not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

I don't know which house is a bigger zoo!

Constipation orders are kind of strange.

He looks pretty good laying there, but he doesn't respond appropriately.

I get the big smelly dog treatment everytime I go.

I'm a very deep person. Even lunch has meaning...

THE DA!!!

I threw out my arms once, but I couldn't get them back, so I had new ones installed so I could type...

My teeth are being cleaned so responses may be delayed.

As soon as I can restart my f'ing laptop since Outlook just died!!!

If they're on the way out the door, you want them to have their happy shoes on.

I found Mr Softee last night!

You know me and hot ovens...

Oh, you burped. I thought you said something.

"Toxic Leavins" -- I guess I coined a new phrase (heh heh heh)

I'm more interested in weight without clothing....or shoes.

Of course he just sits and drools......

I appreciate you going through this room of manure to find the pony.

I scream when I poke myself.

Nobody wants to die at the end of summer.

The arm bone is, apparently, connected to, ummm, the arm bone!

Are you a two T Scott?

What about all the begats?

I haven't heard the cockroach thing

How about the buttock wounds?

You have a lot of juggling over there.

I don't think he's totally floppy.

I left out the Eau De Psycho from my morning routine today!

Open 7 days a week
Pooh
Apes

Wonky..haha...me?....no way...I'm only wonky on Friday's. Never on Mondays...

I recommend a good putter.

With bread and milk you are an egg and vanilla away from French Toast

Just call me vanilla.

His wife continues to be fascinating.

If he would let me I would shave him...

Ungers was called. I called me also.

It it's got horns, we can kill it.

My head still thinking about this guy.

That's 9 of the 15 monkeys...

I take random pictures of myself at night, just for fun.

I delete them.

I meant so say steve.

I'm trying to think of a way to insert some remark about Zeppo Marx, but as it is friday my brain is uncooperative at the moment.

But a morning meal without marshmallows is such a hollow experience......

 Your toe, my thumb -- lets get together soon!

Grizzled veteran of the Grief and Bereavement Wars...

Hoping for the weakness to start...

Apparently we are not cockroaches.

It's all over: she's fatter, but it is weird...

When she crashes, it's going to be spectacular.

It's scary out there! Dangerous! Socialists! Liberals! Lesbian performance artists!!

Is it true? DO sad friends deserve a Chihuahua driven dogsled?

I am attempting to access our paleolithic database: Phil

your memory isn't bad for a one-legged marathoner

Sometimes I have wet farts. Sometimes I have dry farts.

That was a dry fart.

Just so you know...

I'm not a pea-pod person...

Sheriff Poop Approves!

Forgot the 'm

I plan to be the skinny guy with the 'stache.

I just ran 19 miles. Hungover.
I am both insane and a ninja.

We've got a roller thing.

The occasional "you have my eye patches" discussion now seems a bit silly.

I think I'm getting more squeamish as I get older.

I have some patients with fuzzy faces.

There's something wrong with my synapses today

OK, LET'S GO!

His brain is wonderful.

I told her family "You'll have to stay on top of her to see if she's
breathing OK"

How do I get tingle off of my list?

My vacation tastes like watermelon and imported beer.

If you don't double click, sometimes you don't get anything at all.

ps- if she is dead- could whichever nurse makes visit send tod please.

Hi, I'm Nausea Ted

She's still wacky, but she's calmer.

I can help with all except one good man and kitty food, you're on your
own for those!

We'll take a day trip to see Italy.

Somebody's already killed it. I'm going to eat it.

Me too you (not the queen part).

We don't have to do anything unless he goes to Alaska...

His son knows he is not on the floor

She's still wacky, but she's calmer.

I'm a prune popper.

I'm not a skinny dipper, I'm a chunky dunker.

I thought that was temporary, since I am all-powerful.
I want my ba-ba.

An accident waiver and release of liabilities will need to be signed before playing.

He's the dummy with the Winnebego in the sink hole in his back yard.

"I'm dying....quit poking me".

She normally doesn't groan for me.

We had a conversation about furniture-walking.

It's still as clear as mud, but at least we have a plan.

Whatever else we're doing, we're fluffing and buffing her really well!

...little words here and there, like "OK"...

You know bupkus.

Have you ever BEEN to Roseburg?

The only reason I loved cocktail waitressing was you got a free shot
at the end of the night and could take off your heels!

Nobody likes a 300 pound redneck in a Princess Leia bikini.

How do I get back to my tree if I'm not home?

True Grit is the ubiquitous western that epitomizes the American spirit

Costco is our manifest destiny

I'm apathetic toward Molly Ringwold.

Sometimes music gets in the back door-kind of thing.

No jokes about hairy cell leukemia!

I'm not going to write down that you're talking about testicles.

Scott is over here licking his chops.

I thought that would take care of the bigamy thing, you know...

Oh, and the pectin people. A pox upon them!

Hey, you are the dingbat who ate the peanuts.

I want a witness in the event she tries to jump my bones.

I hate it when they don't bleed enough!

It's all a stinking pile of shit, so I guess it doesn't matter.

If I could only hit the ground, at least I'd stop falling!!!

Slow to respond, teeth

I don't think we can fit any more 747s on this postage stamp!

The emperor is not only naked, he has a thousand tailors.

It's hard not to slant when you've been slanting all of your life.

No problem! Sometimes my steering wheel even tastes good when I chew it!

let me know when youre free so I can stop peeking around the corner

He'll be bing-bonging all day long.

She has multiple aprons, for lack of a better term.

It's hard to treat a failed auto sale with Lorazepam.

I suppose at this point it would look really dumb to say, "I knew that"...

Nobody can spell shaboopey.

As the saying goes God Blees America

I talk with my left ear...

Probably I will live quite a long time -- unless I don't.

And never ever underestimate the power of a pissed off Methodist.

I said he's circling the drain. What more do you want?

It did have meat objects in it.

She was drunk, but not in a bad way.

Lactated ringers sounds like a new type of donut.

I'd hate to have "hairy-cell" anything!

Is he still getting around and making his own stuff?

He really hates wearing the hose...

The blind one is the ringleader.

 

Me and him have become really good friends.

Every time I sing I get flipped off.

Sign up to refuse Fed Ex delivery.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

If you wear your Galadriel dress again I'll have to clock you.

Your motion sickness comes with a really good story line.

This is "fly by the seat of your pants" day.

Coffee is the teacher's drug.

Thanks for catching my oops!

We will acronym an acronym.

I can't stop eating french fries, but YOU should eat your vegetables.

This is good TV to clean him up to.

There was a parliament of old guys in his room...

She's still got the itchy-scratchys.

I'm really not fussy about my name

I'll be dreaming of a big tofurkey.

I can be the token male.

George Kennedy would be so piffed.

I'll have to go look at your fish!

She's got all her spots in the right places.

No worries, it's only oxygen.  :)

I just wrote that shit this morning.

I may have to put a boundary on my cheese

would be very appreciative of a reptile free day.

Historic monuments do not jiggle.

Maybe when you sing to him you should gargle.

It's a nice squiggle.

If the patient is deaf and blind, she'd be great.

May your scene be safe.

Apparently I have vacation brain!

A little palpitations never hurt anybody...

Grow your own dope. Plant a man.

Just because I don't eat it doesn't mean I don't like it.

There's, like, 20 haircuts out there...

Can they draw the labs at the dentist?

 

No -- but maybe they can look in his ear!

A lot of people have rods in their arms.

Gray is the new hawt!

The sheep were pulled from in front of their eyes.

You didn't know my name was Mike, did you?

You're obviously not acquainted with the 55 YO edition of moi.

Phew and double phew

Knee is funny. Must respect the knee.

Remember that ornery old fart in the control center? That was him.

I prefer the secret passage!

A poodle can only do so much...

I guess you don't have to eat to have gas...

The only padding he has is pitting edema!

I wouldn't want someone who sounds like me to visit me.

Running water is one step away from compulsory Facebook membership!

Now's your chance! Push me over the edge!

When life gives you lemons, trade them in for peaches. And a springform pan.

My Allegra died.

You're wet but sober.

Would you rather die by yourself or have us kill you?

She's the straw that stirs the drink...

When we start talking about ketamine, my sphincter gets extra tight...

If it's not nailed down, I'm eating it.

Sorry, I didn't mean to make you twitch so early in the morning...

(primal scream)

Toes (toes) too?

Toes (toes) too!

In some circles I'm known for my paper fluttering.

Brutally Soiled

I'm a big fan of skin, so...

That's for me to decide!

I'm the decider!

If you would like to give me some meat, I will not complain!

His teeth don't fit worth a hoot!

I don't normally have a soundtrack when I talk, but...

She was kind of a blob.....or a limp dishrag.

I don't remember what I sang when I got fixed...

When you're in a hopeless situation, the more helpless people you can have around, the better

I only hunker down on sandy outcroppings.

I hate it when I forget sputum in the car!

Well, who smelled the urine?

It feels so good to feel better!

 

God bless compazine!

Do hope and love count?

He can't even swear effectively!

I'm trying to either sneeze or not sneeze....

So many bottoms, so little time.

Playing chicken with a couple of horses is better than playing horse with a couple of chickens.

I'm giving you that "thumbs up" again.

We're gonna talk as soon as I can remember something...

I'm going to update the pain.

I hope that bump in the road wasn't a chicken.

Let's move on now and talk about drugs...

I have an advanced degree in:

 

"It hurts when I do that-.....THEN don't do that- 101"

I'm not any kind of meat!

I think all my electronics are in order today...

It's National BBQ Month.

Go get a hunk of meat and cook it with some fire.

Big painful hot lower leg.

Even Christmas lights aren't like Christmas lights anymore...

The "weird" dial tone is now the "standard" dial tone.

She's totally paste.

I was in full yard sale mode.

Leaving at "noonish".

 (mental me is screaming)

He gave his last moo.

I am really sorry. Now please take off your pants.

I really must insist that you get back to some sort of useful work.

 

I've had to change my Depends twice now.

It just seems people are not dying these days.

Better that than a fast polka, someone could get hurt!!

You are the bomb diggity!

I just farted a whole big bunch.

The Archbishop of Canterbury is a twerp.

I am on my way.

She could probably sweat Pepsi!

I have sunk. You have not.

They are weird people behind that window...

Yes, but was this before, or after the Percocet?

He went with me for a walk on the phone.

She looks like a caution sign.

The deadline for nice was yesterday.

eruption over for the moment

I am SO glad to say I'm innocent!

I shall name you:
"Katrine the dyslexic Klingon"

He tried to be a superhero, but he didn't have a cape.

Is that like flatus?

The baskets don't have printers.

We're going to have to get a really big urn!

It was kind of like gushing out a little bit.

I've done the Dexamethasone thing.

We all take the bullet.

They tend to play the culture card quite a bit.

Your half doesn't get to slide over to my half......

Where's the "Like" button?

With sufficient cunning and tact, one may have his spite and keep his nose.

I'm raising money for Save our Fuzzy Butts!

Most of my sequestrae are mainly quiescent.

Let's blow this pop stand and go get some margaritas.

Just how many compartments do you have in your head?

It's not my fault if your butt is squishy...

Just move those deck chairs around...

The back of my head is full.

She chuckles but I think she'd still pinch.

She was coma-toast...

She used me as an excuse for somebody not to come over.

I always wanted to be a Keith.

There are some issues on her bottom.

It was too loud because it was ugly.

My guy in China got fired.

She's in her mid-fifties...

...all of her pumpkins have left home...

That's the last time I'll play Hackey Sack on the highway.

Shiny heads make me happy.

I'm going to sit because my bifocals won't go that far down.

There is signage.

The look of virtue and the fiber content of pudding.

Mmmmm......pigeons. Fire up the barbecue!

Simply Snarky.

Of course we can, I'm the boss.

I'll swing by your cube...

I used to be uptight about being around dead people.

I'm not sure Guggenheim is microwave-safe...

I have nuts; I don't need cherries...

Name all the conservative guys you know who have boobs.

I take it all back...

 

You da QUEEN, baby!

It was a wild hair, but hey -- it worked!

He took away subtlety

Everything she saw on TV she watned to eat...

All you need is a tube of Aspercream...

She loves her little sidekick Wilma

They yell from wherever they are to tell me what to do.

I'm over my resentment.

He doesn't want to be a woman. He just likes to have breasts.

It is never a secret when I shake my pom poms!

Silken tofu is your friend.

Are you sure it wasn't MRS Snuffaluffagus?

Don't make fun of my peeps.

Massage my feet and feed me yogurt.

Leadership buzzwords

blah blah blah

As soon as my face goes pruney, I'm in.

Hmm.

This is made of bizarre.

checking...

You can make a mud sandwich, but it still tastes like mud.

She has a little bug....or something....

I forgot how to sink.

They make better hummus than we do.

If we're counting clicks, we still have less clicks.

Mr. Google must be in an ox cart.

I am here now

Whatever I want is a civil right.

Everyone is typically untypical

Sometimes I wonder if the Universe needs a Q-Tip.

Constipation is like the kiss of death.

Why not both? Live a little.

I agree with Robert...

...you kinda should be on meds...

A goal without an intervention is just a wish...

It's not about her, it's about me.

They're German people and they really believe in suppositories.

There's always a Dolores.

Rails are rails.

Dory's not doing that.

Let's not go Freudian.

I'm new every time I go out there.

We're centering.

I'm impressed that so many weirdos can come out of so little woodwork.

One week could be one day, or it could be seven

Something smells and it's not my socks this time.

Yes,

...and nooooooo

Nothing like jelly arms and chest

Osgood is watching the tube.

Is cheese supposed to crunch?

I don't think the tooth fairy does diapers.

Well, that's the end of my locking dance

Pull up a piece of cardboard and have a good time!

I mean, people die!

There were dogs and babies and semi-demented mothers.........

I haven't had a nightmare about a patient in years.

I don't know how to get her pee out.

I tried to appeal to her sense of nurse.

We have to get used to the idea of being harassed.

I have too many icons that look like newspapers

You will love my garlic danish.

Is your Medicare Week Flag flipped?

I destroyed two cassettes.

Mouth numb, feel dumb.

Thanks again, Dave.

It's always later than you think...

Was she wheezy, or just gunky?

Kins needs a suit to hit the waterpark!

I listen better when I'm sitting down...

If you don't think you are worthy of love, don't expect others to give you what you deny to yourself.

The dog was obsessed with it.

She walks and eats and does Sudoku puzzles.

Scruffy but nice.