I hate it when the mangos aren't ripe.

Hey! I'm just the comedy conduit. 

I don't know whether to rub it on her or lick my hands.

He's getting spots everywhere....

You can hear me coming with my clicky shoes...

Now you know why I was hanging things out of my nose...

Woo hoo! Incompetence, you are my friend!

If you're concerned about not being able to get it out...don't put it in.

It is angry-looking, like a tumor would be...

You are who I am supposed to be

I got a big dose of big stinky yellow dog.

It's not every day that you see a spider crawl out of your salami!

See, there're moons everywhere!

How will I know if I can go home if I can't find my stick?

Urine is clear and beautiful.

If it drains, let us know...

I seem to get there when John's constipated...

Well, it's been over a month so I shouldn't talk...

It hasn't gotten bigger, but it does weep.

Sorry, when I got paged my brain went backward.

Grab your muffin and git!

She's just a little dwindler...

I guess everybody's 'verge' is a different width

You can lead a horse to water, blah blah...

The living room seems to be the place for dead flying ants...

Geography will be my challenge but I am a good juggler!

I'm not being lazy. I just don't know the link.

It's now Scott's plan to do something....

You still have my fish.

I said "ooooh" not "eeeew"!

As far as an entrance. I prefer to be the medical staff vs the medical emergency.

It's like my eyes give off dirt.

It's hard to clean a noodle!

You shot a skinny chicken?

She was a pistol...and she went out with a bang!

When I'm here you don't have to think...or talk.

He's too weak now to stand and do his coiffure.

By the time I leave, everything's dead but the dog.

I missed the segue. I must have fuzzed out there for a minute.

Adorability is not terminal.

She's little but she can give you a look like "Get Outta Here!!!!"

Even pronouns can hurt...

Put out the cancer stick, Joey.

The family was complaining that she was smelling kind of funky.

We talk about poop a lot. Sorry.

Are you on the purgatory diet?

I had to print it because I couldn't tell what it was.

If I was afraid of boy cooties, I would have died YEARS ago! 

Do you want me to grab an enema on my way out?

I've heard you when you're not there.