I face-melt myself all the time!

I'll be the loopy one!

I'll soak up any props I happen to stumble upon.

Keith knows poop!

If you're little, it's big.

I'll see your patch and raise you a peanut butter cup.

We'll just let sleeping catheters lie.

This office has that "new car smell".

I've been an oddity all my life.

I am your Sherpa!

What was a wasp doing in your bathing suit?

If you look at the guy wrong, he gets a bruise.

If it looks like gout and walks like gout, it's gout.

I'm going to take my "Oooooooo!" back!

(Cue the flying monkeys)

He's really focused on the poopin' part.

I was vacationing in my mind.

There's been a decline in his skin.

I was going for more of the "slouch".

Some people are OK with not being OK.

I took one for the team by taking the funky cupcake.

It's not a computer glitch, it's a "me" glitch.

Hey, ya gotta celebrate SOMETHING!

The ball is in God's court.

Have some reverence for the cranky.

I told you guys, we're tricky clappers!

Oh my. Leslie, not Linda!!!
Weekend, here I come!

Don't slosh when you pick up those things.

You made the error of confusing my lack of emotional maturity with the inexorable progression of chronological age.

Are we still picking the shrapnel out of our teeth?

OOOOP.
Scott just texted. ;)

They're bugs, so they can get on clothes....

He was jumping around like a chicken.

A best friend lick is always appreciated

Do you taste pennies? I smell toast!

You're welcome to get your own personal squirt.

He gets huffy and puffy.

She needs permanent placement indefinitely.

My fingers and my brain are not working together today. 

Larry, the three legged man.

His wife has this stuff called butt paste.

We need more pigs.

My name is Agubada!

It doesn't have to be long to cause pain.

Hopefully more the garden than the sock.

You've got goop everywhere I look.

The inconsistency is consistent.

He's got a great window complete with quarreling squirrels!

I think the one that's oozing is probably yours...

Just because they look hipster doesn't mean they ARE hipster.