Me thumping under your bus makes the world a better place.

My pantry is boring

I like breakin' things.

It feels like I'm the last rat on the ship.

A plethora of deaths.

Since I've been seeing him, he's walkie talkie.

Well...... Yeah.

She says "I can see fine" but she stares straight ahead.

We put her on a bowel protocol just to keep her safe.

She won't last long if she's a nice person.

Try our new Whiplash Whopper.

I always rest easy when there's a good coup' in the offing.

I think we all have bedbugs.

Excrement need not be treated before being flushed down the toilet.

"Confront the dark parts of yourself.
Your willingness to wrestle with your demons
will cause your angels to sing."
~ August Wilson

So, it's all a bit complicated. Perhaps you've noticed this about life.

I'm into the spicy stuff.

Her "aroooo" was louder.

My whole life I've been "W".

The penis was pretty irritated...

I was getting pretty skeeved...

Keith, I need to stop the haircut.

I don't feel sorry for me.

The bullets for the euthenizer were not there when I went to pick them up.

Wow!  Efficient!

I don't want the government to give me my potato chips.

Great minds look alike.

You've got an eye booger, baby, and it's driving me nuts.

Go nuts then. I have tissues.

In all the years I have been aspargus hunting this has never happened. So everyone be careful this year.

No vomiting.

Aw cheese!

...'cause you know, sometimes things do "pop"!

This bed is getting awfully tired of me!

Do you want my alcoholic pervert?

I don't know *what* SHE'S managing, Tim I guess!

I didn't miss it, but I did have a brian fart.

Have you seen pig sprinkles?

It's me.....it's ALWAYS me.

Will respond slowly but will respond.

Thanks, boss dude!

He's not just a bad guy, he's a NERD bad guy.

He knows all, sees all, and doesn't care for much.

I wanna get out of Mayberry!

Noogies all around!

I'm the overseer of all things Dallas.

She was mine but I didn't see her

Doctor does and doctor doesn't.

He skates on a very narrow rim.

We're all weary of the smell.....