Monday, December 27, 2010

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

It has come to my attention that some people did not know this.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Friday, November 19, 2010

If I had a daughter named Nancy, I wouldn't encourage her to marry a man whose last name was Malig

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Monday, October 25, 2010

Thursday, October 21, 2010

We ARE the old foggies.

Always trust the spidey sense!

It wasn't horrible, but it was nasty.
It's got my hinky flag up....

His skin is about 9 miles better

There's always a woman in my room, and I always have to pass gas.
She's very meticulous about her smell.

I will do whatever I'm told

Sucks to be you!

I'm not the idiot.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

These M&Ms taste rotten.
That's because they're Skittles.
I've seen geeks and I've seen nerds, but I've never seen geeks AND nerds.

Monday, October 11, 2010

Thursday, October 7, 2010

"I like to put a spoon in it and make it scream", said Rob
I thought I heard banjo music as I crossed the crick'.

of course, everyone is 'relatively young' to me, nowadays

We're all rooting for the acute event.
She eats like a little horse.
The dog I could step on.....
The whatnot is especially difficult.
She does alternate between swearing and "thank you".
Ethel is 30 years older but does the same stuff.
You don't want to just yank that digoxin.
Nothing here is done gently.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Some of them made steer manure, some of them started restaurants.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

If I didn't have to work for a living, I'd probably pinch myself.

Friday, September 10, 2010

I would rather have wedgies and fart in public than not be able to fit into any more of my clothes. It's a small price to pay...
I here u snapping Scott
Effective immediately, I am crunch free!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Friday, August 27, 2010

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I do have a soft spot for tater tots.
We'll just get this all fixed and he'll die.
I suppose you want to ask me about my bowels.
He is an odd mix of gray and yellow.
Does anybody want a cat named "Peepers"?
It's hard to say no to pancreatic cancer.
I'm Phil, and I always have a handkerchief attached to my face.
I haven't heard a "BOO HISS!" in a long time

Monday, August 9, 2010

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Friday, July 30, 2010

Wait -- you don't have your ovaries anymore, right? Good, OK!
You're just being obstinant. Bless your heart.
It's natural to for us to deal with our own emptiness by trying to get
others around us to change.

That doesn't make it right, though...

When gum goes, it goes.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Monday, July 5, 2010

The first person who calls him a woman will be welcomed to a warm helping of snow shovel.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Monday, June 28, 2010

i like toenails...they make your feet look better 'cause they cover all the fleshy stuff beneath it.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Prepare to recieve the dividends of my constant laser spankings

Monday, May 31, 2010

Little girl: We're swinging high! Are you afraid you'll run into a tree?"
Little boy: No, I'm afraid of running into God.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Please call if you see any destructive or dangerous behavior.