Thursday, December 29, 2011

Well, I'll get out of your way. I guess you've got a juggler to bury...

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

I don't want to feel like I have to be so dependent on clothes!
Oh, that's why it was was in the apple juice...

Friday, December 23, 2011

Did you just call your boss a dufus?
If I can balance the coffee and wine correctly this year, it will be an awesome holiday!

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Friday, December 16, 2011

Wow. I actually just started to look for the "like" button.
I think I need to go home.
How many more times do we have to hear about "creamy and stinky"?
My dog will be confused to go for a walk in the daylight!

Thursday, December 15, 2011


I want to stab you with a knife!

I gave him marching orders to get his tush to the doctor!
Damn, I wish we had dipsticks.
Flowers are better than eternal life.
He's got a big TV, and a cat, so...
I don't think her light is completely bright.
She needs to have her MI and die.
We gave her a chance to get worse and she didn't.
I wish I had someone to give you!
Anyone here want to drown?

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Friday, December 2, 2011

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

I must be a ninja, 'cause automatic flush toilets never seem to sense my presence.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Man, the bruise on my butt is a FRIGHTENING thing to see!

Monday, November 21, 2011

Eat, sleep, travel and work makes this old broad dull and boring.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

My boobs might not be much, but I like them. They're attached to me.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Monday, November 7, 2011

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Kate was the small swarthy man's wife...
...or ex wife
...or some sort of wife!!
She didn't smoke cigars

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Just when I think I've been everywhere, Quinaby Rd comes along and proves me wrong.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Sunday, October 16, 2011

I'm living without temporal borders and feeling confused.

Monday, October 10, 2011

There's some ugliness out there that's just not professional...

Monday, October 3, 2011

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Friday, September 30, 2011

They do tattoos AND piercings; it's pretty much a one stop shop for self mutilation.
Send IT requests to IT please.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The flowers I can arrange.
The bunnies are on you cowboy.

Monday, September 26, 2011

He's like the guy who gets hit by a meteor and thinks he's an astronaut.
...'cause obviously your mom wants to be involved in your life

Friday, September 23, 2011

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I'm a very deep person. Even lunch has meaning...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Friday, September 16, 2011

As soon as I can restart my f'ing laptop since Outlook just died!!!

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

If they're on the way out the door, you want them to have their happy shoes on.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Friday, September 2, 2011

The arm bone is, apparently, connected to, ummm, the arm bone!

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

I left out the Eau De Psycho from my morning routine today!

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Friday, August 19, 2011

I take random pictures of myself at night, just for fun.

I delete them.
I meant so say steve.
I'm trying to think of a way to insert some remark about Zeppo Marx, but as it is friday my brain is uncooperative at the moment.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

It's scary out there! Dangerous! Socialists! Liberals! Lesbian performance artists!!

Is it true? DO sad friends deserve a Chihuahua driven dogsled?

Tuesday, August 16, 2011