Little girl: We're swinging high! Are you afraid you'll run into a tree?"
Little boy: No, I'm afraid of running into God.

He's got plumbers crack somthin' fierce.

If you start spitting, I'm leavin'.

I'm trying to act the part, not just look the part

Is it me?

He's been having a BM every time I visit.

Thanks for being a guinea pig for me

Now I have an image in my head of zombies singing Cat Stevens songs.

I'm being followed by an inmate work crew.

He heard her call and it scared the urine right out of him.

I'm all clowned out.

You bring the picnic, I'll bring the ants.

I will absorb her this week.

When a dying old woman has a last wish to see the face of a kindly
young man, who could refuse?

I've got random goose pimples.

I just am slow.

My laptop is a little funky.

ALICE !!! CALL 2-1-1 !!!

I'm not worried about his yeast.

I've never seen her anything but sweet, but of course I don't put water on her.

They make an ointment for that.

Think of me as Mary Lou Retton on steroids.

Please advise if your mind produces any ideas

Must be my week for a crap sandwich. Hold the mayo.

They're not hillbillies, just deranged.

Take your steel mesh underwear.

Quit being so nursey!

I thought I was slapping that angel by my bed!

He's not a eunuch.

Home of no guarantee whatsoever.

Where's that plug in?

Before you walk with a cane, you have to walk with a walker.

We're joining forces with the bumbling B's.

Please call if you see any destructive or dangerous behavior.

We be hobbits.

I believe in the boner fairy.

This is the other side of my mouth...

I was nodding off and there was a "dong".

I'm weathering the spice storm!

I decapitated Tinkerbelle.

He woke up to go to the bathroom

I have a mouthful.

The nurse is always the last to know....that's fine.

She's fine if I don't touch her

I strive for perfection, but sometimes I fail

Life is good when you're blackberry free.

David has to sit in front.

Microphone!

I don't like the homework and the poop.

Tammie has her shaving license.

He ate Kathryn Hepburn.

Me thumping under your bus makes the world a better place.

My pantry is boring