I was balancing on my laptop and it flipped over!

I am going to be bored out of my shorts.

Great, now Spencer Tracy's withered old face will be in my head all day long

I'm your huckleberry ... if it works out.

They have legs, but the pipes are wrapped.

I apologize for all the clarifications.

Finally. A smile on my face not created by drugs.

I'll take a strange one next week

Really well sheesh never mind me

Always tell the truth -- everything else is a waste of time.

Excuse me, I'm just skipping around in my brain...

A little redundacy wouldn't kill ya!

I do have a soft spot for tater tots.

We'll just get this all fixed and he'll die.

I suppose you want to ask me about my bowels.

He is an odd mix of gray and yellow.

Does anybody want a cat named "Peepers"?

It's hard to say no to pancreatic cancer.

I'm Phil, and I always have a handkerchief attached to my face.

I haven't heard a "BOO HISS!" in a long time

I don't think we're way out of the whack

We now carry authentic beach sand.

Q: why isn't it called womenopause?

Don't say aaahhh, say arf.

Central is in the middle.

He showed me his bong.

They're gonna ask me what I think...

...and I have no idea

She does great if you catch her in between drugs.

They make no bones about the puff-puff

It's a love/hate relationship

mostly hate

It's too early in the morning for a Willy Wonka reference

I feel like George Hamilton.

She's got goobers on her brain.

I may need to have you come and be the ugly person.

As you're going out, I'll bring up serious illness.

I embraced it, I just haven't expanded my embrace...

My cheese is your cheese

Mom had a mini freak.

That's the second buzzard story I've heard this week.

Yuks infinity

If he's twitching, you can just put him back to bed.

Always thinking -- but not planning

Just because it's old doesn't mean we don't need it.

I need "D", not "E".

I can make my knuckles crack

My chiropracter can make a back crack

Only God can make a butt crack

It's got that "thrift store" smell.

I'm chomping at the bit to take more junk home.

I know your schedule is bizarre.

When she crashes, it's going to be butt ugly.

My patients are lacking the normal gene.

She was just like a hornet.

The one I get along with best is the cat

Up and runnin. The tooth can be saved.

I want to find a TV station with ugly people.

boredom is subjective?

We're not a horsey sort of a people.

Woo hoo is right!

I will be the tattoo person there. Say hi!

I specialize in depressing.

Does my tongue scratch your skin?

Is there something I don't know about me?

He may remember you if you buried his wife.

Don't get sticks until I tell you