I said "ooooh" not "eeeew"!

As far as an entrance. I prefer to be the medical staff vs the medical emergency.

It's like my eyes give off dirt.

It's hard to clean a noodle!

You shot a skinny chicken?

She was a pistol...and she went out with a bang!

When I'm here you don't have to think...or talk.

He's too weak now to stand and do his coiffure.

By the time I leave, everything's dead but the dog.

I missed the segue. I must have fuzzed out there for a minute.

Adorability is not terminal.

She's little but she can give you a look like "Get Outta Here!!!!"

Even pronouns can hurt...

Put out the cancer stick, Joey.

The family was complaining that she was smelling kind of funky.

We talk about poop a lot. Sorry.

Are you on the purgatory diet?

I had to print it because I couldn't tell what it was.

If I was afraid of boy cooties, I would have died YEARS ago! 

Do you want me to grab an enema on my way out?

I've heard you when you're not there.