There was somethin' hitting against somethin' in there.....

Try a little morphine at bedtime. Everyone needs just a drop.

Feel free to talk in zombie voice.

I actually went to high school with a guy named Fatty Cheese.

I really need to mark my things...

I covet your chewing...

I spent all day yesterday not getting a nosebleed...

I so want to lean on you, but I don't want my nose to bleed...

I'm already under the bus. Might as well laugh while I'm down here...

I've got bereavement coming out of my ears.

She must have been sucking in all her limbs.

Thank God she had that episode.

When you say "we" I feel involved...

I think someone put my number on a bathroom wall somewhere.

I am HERE!

Where's the duck?

I tried to disimpact someone's schizophrenia once and almost lost an eyeball in the backfire.

Hey! This body's still warm!

I'll try to drill for the nerve tomorrow, and we'll see what happens...

She ate lasagna and I guess that really burned her up...

My granddaughter thought it was a pony.

She's not dripping like she was.....

my snark-o-meter may be on the fritz

Sometimes I think my rib cage is just too heavy...

The only thing we're keeping an eye on is her bottom...

She was talkative....she let me soak her feet.

I like dirt! It's the first thing I've eaten that doesn't taste like chicken.

She is a devious little dear.

I didn't know they could hop.

If I promise no fuss or feathers, can I come and see him?

It's the new age fruitcake!

Tina was Tina, as Tina can be...

Phil and I will bring the wind and the bugs.

My bag was the only thing that kept my ankles from being chewed on.

We did the happy hemorrhoid dance.

If you know Origami, you could make a swell menagerie.

Keith needs stories!

I've been there with one of those loaf manglers.

I'll stand out here and smell the pumpkin lightly.

It's a hot dog, lower the bar.

Are my lips too tart?

Oh!

I thought it fell off...but I guess it's still attached...

Sometimes I amaze myself with my left hand!

My brain takes leaps I didn't intend it to...

Somebody is honking at you.

Mentally she is a little bit everywhere.

I was going to bring my own wet noodle, but I forgot...

He'd crush you if he fell on you.

Heh... woops. Thanks.

So many fire drills, so few hoses.