Hey, ya gotta celebrate SOMETHING!

The ball is in God's court.

Have some reverence for the cranky.

I told you guys, we're tricky clappers!

Oh my. Leslie, not Linda!!!
Weekend, here I come!

Don't slosh when you pick up those things.

You made the error of confusing my lack of emotional maturity with the inexorable progression of chronological age.

Are we still picking the shrapnel out of our teeth?

OOOOP.
Scott just texted. ;)

They're bugs, so they can get on clothes....

He was jumping around like a chicken.

A best friend lick is always appreciated

Do you taste pennies? I smell toast!

You're welcome to get your own personal squirt.

He gets huffy and puffy.

She needs permanent placement indefinitely.

My fingers and my brain are not working together today. 

Larry, the three legged man.

His wife has this stuff called butt paste.

We need more pigs.

My name is Agubada!

It doesn't have to be long to cause pain.

Hopefully more the garden than the sock.

You've got goop everywhere I look.

The inconsistency is consistent.

He's got a great window complete with quarreling squirrels!

I think the one that's oozing is probably yours...

Just because they look hipster doesn't mean they ARE hipster.

I will adhere to being the adhesive!

Your camel is dead to me!

You don't want to touch my toes!

My favorite Christmas carol is "Tranfusion for the holidays".

Did I stop doing something I was doing?

I lose track of time when I'm talking.

My cooking brain cells have shrunken considerably.

I think her seratonin has been goosed enough.

That's one butt crack I could have lived without!

I remember what it was like to have hair.

I floated for four and a half years.

I'm in a turkey state of mind!

I could wonder tomorrow.

I think that was just filed away in my 'denial hole' or something...

That bakes my beans!

You can't cure normal.

I'm sure I'm forgetting somebody, since there's been lots of somebodies...

I found it in a funky place...

Meanwhile, my son smells like dirty socks!

She went from zero to maniac in ten seconds.

He looks like a puffed up little chicken.

The one on his butt is getting serious.